Life vs. Death   2 comments

So recently I had an amazing experience.  A sad one, but a good one.  My dad has always said to me growing up that “Life isn’t fair” and I totally agree with him.

Sadly, my amazing wife lost her Grandmother last week.  She was terribly saddened and distraught which of course was not easy for me to sit back and take.  Seeing her cry when we walked into the hospice room where Grandma was taking her last breaths was very uneasy for all of us, including our 10 month daughter.  The three of us walked into Grandma’s room and she lay on this bed with tubes connected to her nose and we knew from the report of the nurses that things were not good and her outcome was very grim.  It reminded me of when I was 16 and watched my grandfather take his last breath in his hospital bed and my dad cried which truly blasted me because I had never seen him cry in the 16 years prior.

My wife was immediately a wreck upon seeing her grandma in this state and our daughter started to cry and fuss when she saw her mother like this and also it was like death was in the air and she knew it too, she could sense it, much like I could.  From my experience with my grandfather I could tell that this was not good, and the nurse confirmed she had just called my wife’s aunt to tell her Grandma would not make it through the night and things were going from bad to worse.  I swooped up our daughter and took her out of the room and gave my wife some alone time with her Grandma, at the time, I thought, perhaps for the last time.  I, of course, did not say that to her, but I was thinking it.  We were there at 6:30ish that night and later we heard she passed away at 7:00pm that same night.

In this whole traumatic chain of events and death I saw LIFE.  I saw LIFE in our daughter.  Our beautiful lil 10 month old.  Ok, I am biased, but she is so frickin cute!  More importantly, in this time of death with my wife’s Grandma I remember watching our daughter in the waiting room of the hospice center, knowing that Grandma was going to die, that I had LIFE right in front of me, and DEATH was just down the hall.  This was so sad of course, but so wonderful to see my little daughter so healthy and so full of LIFE.  My 10 month old daughter had her whole LIFE in front of her.  I took solice in the fact that Grandma had an opportunity to meet our daughter and she got to know her and spend many quality moments with her.  Moreover, our daughter was the culmination of Grandma, the offspring of her granddaughter.  If it wasn’t for Grandma my daughter wouldn’t be here today.  In Grandma, I saw my daughter.  My daughter will be Grandma’s legacy and that is a blessed and amazing gift.  So in the end when I saw DEATH,  I also saw LIFE.

Thank you Grandma.  Thank you so very much.  We love you and we miss you.

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Posted April 18, 2011 by brentcatlett in Parenting

2 responses to “Life vs. Death

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  1. So sorry for your loss, Brent. Glad you are able to find perspective in it all–I’m always surprised at the clarity I’m able to see in times of tragedy and sadness.

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